Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Blog 3, Almost

I need to catch that pig. That’s all that Jack could think about. I do not like the way things have bin lately one being that I’m not the leader. Stupid Piggy I hate him I need to find a way to get rid of him, such a winner he is. I need to get the little ones to learn to like me more than that fool Ralph. Jack is very flaunt and does not get along with very many people. As I walk towards the water thinking on how I am going to catch that pig I hear the little ones crying in there sleep and I see my self in the water and realize that Ralph is still up and sitting on a rock off to my left. The water was very glimmer. I want to no more about Ralph because he seems very inscrutable to me, but it will half to weight till tomorrow. Jacks time to shine he thought to him self. He woke up late but that didn’t mater he was well rested and ready to catch a pig. I started to gather up my hunters and as I started to gather them up Ralph comes up to us and acts like he is our father and telling us to come home early and help make huts. I got kind of oppressive at ham, but who cares I want to go hunting. We made barb weapons and started are way into the thick green jungle, we had to go through a lot of tendril. I came up with a plan that I thought would work, I told the little kids to scar a pig towards me they would be in the form of a festoon, and then me and one other little one would jump on top of the pig and kill it. So we all set up are positions. I thought that this plan would bewilder the pig. The kid and me weight. We hear nothing, but then we here yelling from all over I catch a furtive glance at the pig I jump out of the bush and I noticed that I jumped to soon it saw me and turned and got away. After it got away I was disappointed with my self. All of us disappointed we make are way back to the spot. Once we got back Ralph was right there yelling at us and I just didn’t really care what he had to say and just went to bead.

2 comments:

Mr. Shaddox said...

Adam,

You've done a great job of capturing Jack's resentment for Piggy and Ralph. I can feel his sour attitude through your vicious thoughts.

REVISION ASSIGNMENT: This scene is the climax of your journal. Action like this deserves vivid detail. Please provide more imagery to show us what this scene looks like. Write 5 sentences that elaborate on the action.

"We hear nothing, but then we here yelling from all over I catch a furtive glance at the pig I jump out of the bush and I noticed that I jumped to soon it saw me and turned and got away. After it got away I was disappointed with my self."

lotfadam said...

At first we hear nothing, dead silence; but then off in the distance we here yelling, screaming little kids. I catch a furtive glance at the pig I jump out of the bush and I noticed that I jumped to soon it saw me and turned and got away. After it had gotten away I was extremely disappointed with my self.